A Shape with a Countably Infinite Number of Sides
Some thoughts from the past week and Colum McCann's Apeirogon.
Before continuing with the usual fodder I write about in this space, I feel compelled to acknowledge the utter horror and tragedy happening in the Middle East. It has been a devastating week. Like everyone else, I’ve been following the news and the heart-wrenching stories. Like everyone else, I feel hollowed out by the loss of so many innocent lives and their promise, potential, beauty, and light.
I also feel as if these and any other words that I have to offer are not enough, or not the right ones, or insufficient for the weight of this complicated conflict. As evidenced by the backlash and vitriol being expressed in some circles, it’s impossible to know what the right thing is to say. Nothing feels correct or enough, and the perceived or very real pressure to say something leads to the default response of silence. I share and see and feel the deep hurt, fear, vulnerability and sorrow of so many people we care about and love.
During this week, I’ve been thinking a lot about Colum McCann’s book Apeirogon, a book released right before the pandemic’s onslaught and, because of such, hasn’t gotten as much attention as some of his other books.
From the publisher's description:
Bassam Aramin is Palestinian. Rami Elhanan is Israeli. They inhabit a world of intractable conflict that colors every aspect of their daily lives, from the roads they are allowed to take to the schools their daughters, Abir and Smadar, each attend. Theirs is a life in which children from both sides of the wall throw stones at one another. But their worlds shift irreparably when ten-year-old old Abir is killed by a rubber bullet meant to quell unruly crowds, and again when thirteen-year-old Smadar becomes the victim of suicide bombers.
When Bassam and Rami learn one another's stories and the loss that connects them, they become part of a much larger tale that ranges over centuries and continents. Apeirogon is a novel that balances on the knife edge of fiction and nonfiction. Bassam and Rami are real men and their actual words are a part of this narrative, one that builds through thousands of moments and images into one grand, unforgettable crescendo.
Bassam and Rami are real people, and Apeirogon is based on their real-life friendship and shared tragedies. On February 26, 2020, slightly more than two weeks before the world would change, I was in the audience when both men joined Colum McCann onstage here in Pittsburgh. To say it was an emotional, powerful evening is an understatement.
About his book with a title that refers to a shape with a countably infinite number of sides, McCann said that the novel is deliberately confusing at the beginning. “Surrender yourself to the confusion,” he advised. “Allow yourself to be confused.”
I confess: I’ve yet to read Apeirogon. It has been on my shelves for three and a half years. It has felt too daunting, too big in its scope and intensity. During a time defined by confusion, it felt like too much. But this week I kept thinking about Bassam and Rami and what the brilliant Colum McCann is trying to do through Apeirogon, and maybe it is a book for this moment. A book I need at this moment. With the exception of the two audiobooks I listened whilst traveling to and from my boy’s college last weekend, I’ve been in a bit of a book slump this month. Nothing is grabbing my interest or attention, and I know it’s because life aside from major world events has been heavy lately.
On a bitterly cold February night three years ago, when most of what was ahead was still vastly unknown, Colum McCann talked about being backstage in the dark. “Walking toward the darkness is more difficult than walking away from it,” he commented. “These two fathers, they come from the darkness. The empathy is found in the light. The fact that an Israeli and a Palestinian are here together — that’s the crack that’s allowing the light to come through.”
In these difficult times, may we all find and be the light.
Thank you for this! ♥️
I have not heard of this book but it sounds like it might just be the perfect book to read during these very difficult times.