Sunday Stack: Looking Back, Looking Forward

Reflections on 2023 and Intentions for 2024

Photo by Eyestetix Studio on Unsplash

There was a time when New Year’s was my favorite holiday. I love the retrospection and nostalgia intermingled with potential and hope and a proverbial blank slate. The festive nature of this date has long been tamped down for us, made even moreso with today being a tough anniversary: it is exactly a year since we lost my best friend/soul sister Cheryl after a hard-fought battle with brain cancer, so she is very much on our minds, as she has been every single day of this year.

And the reality is that New Year’s has a complicated, messy history for us for reasons best left off the ‘stack. The Husband and I can’t remember the last time we celebrated New Year’s with a group of people beyond our children. It’s probably been more than two decades. I’ll take our subdued marking of time any day, though, because our kids are great company and amazing individuals and we are beyond fortunate to have them, especially when thinking of close friends who lost their son this year. We have minimalist plans: football, reading, appetizer/snacky stuff for dinner (charcuterie, chicken tenders, crash hot potatoes, fancy little dessert treats from Trader Joe’s).

But even though I don’t need the flashy celebrations anymore, I’m powerless to resist the pull to look back on what was, what wasn’t, and what might be ahead.

Looking Back

• Without question, 2023 was a year defined by loss and grief in many forms. It started with me writing Cheryl’s obituary and a eulogy and a solo trip back to Philly for her funeral the first week in January.

• My boss of 10 years announced her retirement, which led to several stressful months for me personally and some big disappointments.

• My stepfather died, prompting some changes and another solo trip back to Philly.

All of the above happened in January. To put it mildly, it was a tough beginning to the year.

• In March, our friends’ 23-year-old son died in a car accident.

• June brought the shocking news that our college—the one where The Husband and I met and which defines so much of our lives—was sold and would be closing.

• A high school friend died in July. Cancer, again.

• Beginning in the spring and continuing until—well, it will be lifelong—The Husband faced a significant health crisis. He lost over 60 lbs., had numerous tests and procedures (including a bone marrow biopsy, after which brought the news of the college closing), doctor’s appointments, surgery and a hospital stay in September. At his request, I didn’t write much about this here (or anywhere, besides my journals). We finally got answers in late summer: gastroparesis. He also has SIBO. It’s been physically and emotionally challenging.

A tough year personally and professionally, not to mention all that is happening in the world—wars, climate change, the constant threats to democracy, injustices on many levels. Still, there were some bright spots in 2023.

• The Husband’s diagnosis prompted us to revisit some of our dietary choices. We’ve been vegetarian for 28 years (I’ve been pescetarian all along and have been leaning more flexitarian, especially in this past year) and gluten-free for eight of those. We decided to try going back to eating meat (only chicken and turkey for now) and gluten. It’s going well and we’re delighting in enjoying some old favorites.

• I read a total of 80 books and completed three reading challenges (Book Riot, Popsugar, and Classics Club). I’ll share my annual recap, including my favorites, soon. As usual, I’m a little behind.

• I reconnected with one of my Dad’s best friends.
  

• Our Philadelphia Eagles made it to the Super Bowl! (We won’t talk about today’s game.)

• I attended several great literary events this year with Abigail Thomas, Zoje Stage, Kelly Corrigan — all of which helped to jump-start my writing and fuel inspiration for a new project.

• In May, I met up with a high school friend at her son’s college baseball game; his team (Miami Hurricanes) was in town playing against Pitt.

• My boy and I enjoyed an afternoon at Phipps, a botanical garden here in Pittsburgh.

• The kids and I spent several days with my mom in Philly.

• College Girl and I saw “Barbie” — in the theater!

• We had brunch in Pittsburgh with Cheryl’s husband and daughter.

• My girl and I had a fun day out with tarot card readings, shopping, and brunch.

• A new Beatles song!

• We had a nice Christmas filled with family and friends. I took two weeks off from work — a much needed break.

• And the highlight and best part of this year? Hands down — reconnecting with two of my best college friends (and others) during an amazing September weekend back on campus. Despite the effects of Tropical Storm Ophelia, we had an incredible time reliving our glory days and making new memories. I needed that weekend more than I realized. So much emotion wrapped into those two days.

Looking Forward

I’m not big on making resolutions or setting unattainable goals, but there is one for 2024: I’d like to finish a first draft of my memoir. I say this every damn year. After many therapy sessions where this has come up, I’ve switched my focus for this project. THIS. IS. THE. YEAR. I’m going to be 55. Time’s ticking and not guaranteed, as we know.

I want to spend more time here on Substack and less elsewhere. I reached 100 subscribers this year (thank you, thank you, thank you!) and for 2024, I’d like to try and post at least once per week. Twice would be nice. I would also like to do more collaborative projects related to Substack, like interviews or guest posts. I want to become more…present, I guess, in this community and connected to other writers. And yes, I know that there have been some serious issues raised lately in regard to this platform and I’m concerned and giving much thought to those.

I’m intrigued by Gretchen Rubin’s idea of Happiest Trifecta, especially the part about creating a “24 for 24” list. I have some ideas for that.

My word of the year is still uncertain. I’m leaning toward FOCUS.

I hope that 2024 is a kind and gentle year for you and those you care about. We can all use more of that. Thank you for being here and supporting my writing. I never take it for granted and I’m so appreciative. Happy New Year, everyone. Love you all.